I haven't posted it in my blog yet, but as you pry know Mike and I have been on a break with hopes of getting back together. We still talked a lot, and did stuff together a few nights a week. Well up until about 2 1/2 weeks ago that is, the day after my birthday we got into a big fight, and he basically told me he didn’t think we should see each other anymore. I just kinda sat there for a minute, and he pretty much just told me to take him home. Having been with him for so long I kinda of expected to talk about it a little, or something, but he just said it and wanted to go home. He didn’t act like it affected him or anything, I mean I didn’t expect him to break into tears like I had, but I expected a little emotion, or a sorry, or an I will miss you, but I got nothing. When I asked him, he said he was upset, but he sure didn’t make a believer out of me. I mean I am sure that he was a little sad, but I mean after four years you think he would be more than just a little sad.

I think that is what hurt me the most; it felt like he didn’t even care, like we had been dating for just a few weeks or something. So I have been going to work and going to school with this wall of happiness on the outside with deep hurt on the inside. There have been so many times that I have felt like I am alone, like I have nobody…I have wanted nothing more than to stay at home in bed and do nothing, yet I know I cannot. So this last week has not been too bad, but it brings me to the point of why now? Why let it out now? Well I have talked to Mike about 5 times since this happen, a few times were to just fill him in about the heritage situation, and the others were the few times that he called me just to see what was going on, those conversations lasted about 5 minutes each. I talked to him again tonight, and I realized that it has finally set in that we are not together and are not getting back together.

In December I will graduate, and may move to Arizona, and could never see him again. It hurts my heart to think about it, but I have finally let it set in. It’s set in that I may never see him again after December, that I will be graduating and entering the “real world” alone, and that I will have to start a new relationship all over when I am ready for one. So tonight, I will pry cry myself to sleep, but it will be different from previous nights, I will shed my last tears over him. I know I will pry have feelings for him for awhile, but I am tired of hurting all the time, and I have to begin put it to an end.

What's here? A cup, clos'd in my true love's hand?
Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end:
O churl! Drink all, and left no friendly drop
to help me after?
¶ 22:23

So my will power to remain only a student and not a helpdesk employee during class paid off yet again yesterday. Our T.A. could not figure out how to get the video to work on the projector…he got the sound going, but couldn’t figure out how to change the video over. I considered going up there and showing him how to do it…but then thought of all the other students in the class, and how I figured they would enjoy a day off…I didn’t want to ruin that so I just sat back and watched, and alas….class was cancelled!! YAY!!

Well everything was broken at work this morning…that was a great time. People calling in saying they couldn’t get here or there…the emergency line ringing non stop…wonderful, wonderful helpdesk days! Rebekah would be glad to know that she did not miss much by going to class, things were pretty much up and running pretty well by about 8:45. everything that is except ISIS (for about 10 minutes), which was somewhat ironic, because when everything else was broken just 10 minutes before, ISIS was working fine….the share point site was available long enough for people to see where they worked around 850, then went back down about five minutes later.

So what was the most annoying thing about everything being broken? Two words….VOICEMAIL….yea…here is how the typical message went… “Um, hi, my name is (blah, blah) and I can’t get into my Webmail. I have tried it several times, and it was just working last night, and I tried to log onto ISIS and that worked fine, so I know the password is correct, but I just don’t know what else to do. So if you could give me a call back, maybe there is something else I could try, I mean I just don’t know why it is not working, especially if ISIS is not working…my HawkID is (blah) and my password is (blah) and I know the password works cuz like I said is it working for ISIS, and my student ID number is (blah). So if you could call me back I would appreciate it thanx bye…oh wait my number is (blah-blah-blah).” Yea just when I thought HA you didn’t leave your number dumbass…they realized it and left it, and yea there were several people that did this…kinda weird. Then there was the guy that said in the mean time he was going to “try to find a back door to this HawkID thing” that was not allowing him to log on…..rrrrrriight. Good luck with that one buddy…On top of that I think that everyones hawkid password expired today!! ARGGGH!!

Holy shit has anyone else noticed the stench of campus lately?!? Yesterday it smelled like a giant ASS!! Seriously I think someone took the biggest shit yesterday right in the middle of downtown. It was horrible…now today it smells like garbage…oh how I love Iowa City…

Come on, think. I want you to reach back into those minds and tell me, tell us all, what it is you fantasize about. World peace? I thought so. Do you fantasize about international fame? Do you fantasize about winning a Pulitzer Prize? Or a Nobel Peace Prize? An MTV Music Award? Do you fantasize about meeting some genius hunk, ostensibly bad but secretly simmering with noble passion and willing to sleep on the wet spot?
¶ 21:05

OMG!! Why is gmail so SLOW today!!!! Its driving me NUTS!!!

Ok so I have not posted in a while, I think it’s because I have been busy…as you can tell from the previous post, I got a new bunny. I named him Hugh after Hugh Hefner of course. He is the cutest thing, and he loves exploring the apartment. I am still trying to work on the potty training. I have gotten a litter box thing for the corner of the cage, but for some reason he has taken a custom to pooping right in front of the cage door. Yea, nice I know. He also does this thing in the middle of the night were he chews on his cage, and pulls on the bars so hard that his teeth slip off of them, causing him to go flying backwards, and the bars to make a loud noise. He likes to do this when I am trying to sleep or go to sleep.

Classes have been going ok I guess, today is the last day of Web Search Engines. Yay for that…not that it was a hard class, but that is just one less thing I have to worry about. I have a group presentation today, and a final test, which from the sounds of it is going to be opinion questions, so I don’t know how the hell she is going to grade it. I had my first test Monday night in Social Inequalities, I pry should have studied a little more for it, but I think I did alright. I can’t decide if I am looking forward to the next test, it is all essays. But that means there will be only a few questions, and we can use the front side of a piece of paper to put notes on and bring to class. So that will pry make it easier.

Political Sociology….yea I don’t know what to say about that class. I really don’t have any idea what is going on. Our test is in a month and I have no idea what to study. No one else in the class seems to know either, well at least the people I have talked to. He is supposed to put a study guide on WebCT today, so hopefully that will help. I don’t think anyone really pays attention in the class…well except this one girl, who always has this hairdo. She has short hair, and she always takes those really tiny hair clips, and twists sections of her hair up and clips them, so her hair is pretty much flipping and flopping this way and that way. It makes me laugh…she is also one of those girls that always comes to class with either a fruit juice or a cup of coffee (or cappuccino, or something of that nature).

And what is with people wearing 4-5 shirts at a time? Mostly it is guys but sometimes its girls, but the other day I was sitting in class bored and started noticing that 5-6 guys (of about 12 guys) had on at least 4 shirts! They are all tee shirts and t hey are all different colors! I don’t get it, it feels like it is 150 degrees out, and these guys are walking around wearing all these shirts. I understand that I am a cold person and have my sweatshirt with me, but I still at most wear two shirts, and they are not the same type of shirt. I can even understand wearing something like an undershirt and a tee shirt, but I don’t understand more than 2 shirts. So if anyone has a reason for this I would like to hear it.

Your penis is so strong
Your penis is so smooth
Your penis has got a rhythm
Your penis makes me groove
Your penis is a dream
The biggest one I've seen
It's oozy and it's green....EWWW
¶ 18:58

i will post more tomorrow, but here is my new pet!!

Hugh
¶ 21:46

Since it is my birthday today, I am working on a this is your life post, so look for that later today....and here it is.

FYI!!! This is going to be a long post…

Birth
Twenty three years ago at 4:09 p.m. the miracle of birth was happening once again. Yes in St, Luke’s Hospital in Sioux City, IA my mother was giving a painful natural birth to yours truly. It had started 14 hours earlier, with moms water breaking in the basement of my grandma’s house (were the rents were living at the time). I came into the world being strangled by my own umbilical cord (yes, I know…somebody loves me). The rents got to hold me, and then it was off to ICU to make sure I was breathing ok. Dad wanted to name me Donna (like my mom) and she said no, my grandpa suggested Dawn, and dad said he saw something on TV about Dawna, and mom went to high school with someone named Dawna, so there I was. And there we were one small happy family, Donnie (Don now a days), Donna, and Dawna (yea say that ten times real fast!).

On the Move
When I was 9 months I started to walk (before I started to crawl, yea that’s how I like to do things), after walking came running, which I would do when the rents and I would walk down to Uncle Johns (a record store, where apparently the jingling of change meant the regular masturbator was at it again…yea nice, I know). Every time we walked there I would run…then I would fall…on my face. There was a period of time were I had sores on my face from it all the time, by the time they would heal, it would happen again. But I guess anything worth doing is worth doing right!!

My Love for the Garbage Men
At the rip old age of about a year I threw my pacifier in the garbage, I didn’t need that old thing anymore (I was destined for great things)….then I caved and wanted it back. Mom would not give in, so I stood at the front door screaming at the garbage men to “BRING BACK MY GARBAGE!!!” (Yea I bet they don’t get that too often). Us being the rich family we were, I guess when I was bored one day dad cut out arm holes and a head hole in a diaper box (back then they came in big ass boxes, not bags) and I wore it around as a robot….those were the days. Lol, I also used a ten gallon bucket as a swimming pool.

Carol Anne Enters my Life
I don’t have much about age three, except that I got Carol Anne (she is sitting in the chair in this picture), my cabbage patch doll that I still have to this day, and yes, she still goes places with me. I mean I don’t carry her to the mall with me, but when I go out of town or something, she is with me. If there was a fire and I could only grab a few things she would pry be the first. 8-)

My Hy-Vee Experiences
When I was 4 my mom and grandma took my to Hy-Vee with them, well they were walking and talking, and I stopped in the isle while they kept going…when they got to the end of the isle, they noticed I wasn’t there and turned around….and there I stood at the other end of the isle with my hands on my hips….I yelled as loud as I could… “DON’T YOU KNOW THAT SOMEBODY COULD KIDNAP ME!?!?” Yea I was good at embarrassing people. My grandma did get me back though another time when we were eating at the Hy-Vee cafeteria and she spilled a big ass glass of freezing cold lemonade on my lap. I screamed a blood curdling scream so loud that the cooks came out thinking that someone got burned. I walked out of Hy-Vee looking like a Charmin commercial with 500 napkins stuffed in my pants.

Kindergarten
I went to kindergarten when I was and the teacher called me Jordache because that’s what my dress said. Here I met Sandy, who called me pretty girl…yea she flunked kindergarten and had to take it over…enough said. I had a birthday party and invited every girl in the class…22 in all; I thought it was great, the rents thought it was a nightmare I'm sure. Someone squished and killed one of my pet mice, Minnie or Mickey; I don’t remember which one…I learned to ride a bike this year and started going to Patti’s as well (my babysitter). I also got Buffy this year (full name Princess Buffy) my first and only dog. She was a tan Cocker Spaniel, and she was just a puppy.

Relocation
When I was in second grade we moved, and I Sandy re-entered my life. We lived right next door to her, so I became friends with her again. That lasted about a year or so, then we had a fight, and didn’t play as much. I also got into tee ball. The coaches’ kid, Beth, and I were a great combination as pitcher and 1st baseman. New Kids on the Block were my life… (I heart(ed) Jordan Knight!!). My bedroom walls were painted Pepto-Bismol Pink, and I had the bright pink bedspread and sheets, bright pink curtains, posters, bright pink phone…I had books, shirts, movies, and cassette tapes…everything you could think of. My parents took me to a concert in Minneapolis (I think) and it was an outdoor one…from what I remember we were so far back they looked like little ants, and people were being crushed under the stage, and the paramedics were all over the place rescuing people, lol.

Alice in Wonderland Syndrome
In 3 (I think) grade I fell down a big ass hole (no, not a big asshole, a big ass HOLE). Dad played softball, and they were building new lights for the fields, so they had big holes dug to stick them in. They had these big blue plastic covers that were on them, that were supposed to be held down with these metal poles, but the one by our field was not. My cousin betted me I wasn’t strong enough to lift up the blue thing, me not knowing what was under it was up for the challenge. So I lifted up the end of it, and looked back to say ‘see I told you I could do it’ when I slipped and fell in letting the lid close behind me….yea the whole was like 10-12 feet deep, which may not seem quite so big now, but when your only 3 feet tall, its never ending. I thought I was a goner! Luckily my dad had just looked over and was going to yell for me to put the lid down, so he saw me fall. The game was stopped, and they had to lower the tallest guy around down the hole by his feet to get me out. Yea dad was pissed cuz the thing wasn’t locked and we spent quite a while in the managers office of the complex. The next morning, mom found a tick sucking away at my head; the thing had grown to about the size of a dime over night. I think we got it out with a match, but I'm not for sure.

Middle School
Ok well let’s skip ahead a few years to get this ball a rollin’. In sixth grade Gunnar was born, one of the best years so far!! (see my website for more on him). I had my first boyfriend, Jacob Johnson. We were only boyfriend and girlfriend as school though, because he refused to talk to me on the phone, I don’t know why…I did hit him in the balls with a soccer ball in gym class really hard one day, and that was funny. We dated all year, didn’t talk all summer, and then I guess just both assumed that it was over when 7th grade started… yea strange I know. My next boyfriend was half way through 7th grade (Quintin, who died in a motorcycle accident a few months ago) we dated till high school.

High School
High school wasn’t too bad, played softball, basketball, volleyball, ran track for a year, and was a cheerleader for 3 years. Became really good friends with Jennifer, and became to hate some of my previous friends. The boyfriend situation is way too long and complicated, so I won’t go into that. I got my first job at Hardee’s, which was a pretty good time most of the time. Worked with some pretty good people that I really miss sometimes, like Marvin 8-(, as well as some skanky hoe’s that I wish I would have punched when I had the chance, I need not name names here, you know who you are. I bought my first car, the Plymouth Sundance. It was a 1990, red, and I loved it. Now it is pry dead somewhere, lol.

Ok so now I'm at the University of Iowa, and that’s all the updating I want to go to, this is too long, already, so I wont bore you with the last 5 years of my live, 18 is enough right!?!?

¶ 08:31

Work is boring, and I find things to be annoying today….my shirt has a lot of wrinkles, I don’t want to go to class today. I am addicted to reading this girls EBS live journal. I have no idea who she is, and she is like 16, but I read it almost everyday. I don’t even remember how I found it…its kinda weird, but oh well. She is a cutter, and has 4-6 fuck buddies, that she is ‘in love’ with one day, and hates the next. In my opinion they are all fucking her over. Now she wants to be emancipated so that she can go to Florida and live with one of them, who is going to college and makes a lot of money and will take care of her. Hmm, yea we’ll see how that works out…

I watched Exorcist the Beginning today. It was alright, but the first one was still the best….I mean, the new one was different, it reminded me of the mummy….this archeologist guy that used to be a priest gets asked to go on this dig where a church was found underground, and is said to have this ancient artifact in it. So he goes, and there is this tribe of people there, and a few other Americans and strange things start happening. The church appears vandalized, and there is a possession, but it doesn’t actually come out until about 20 minutes before the end of the movie, the rest of it is storyline. Which wasn’t too bad, but I would have rathered there be more time with the possessed person. I mean there was no green vomit, no spinning heads, and no one banging them self with a crucifix. The closest thing to it was some mad guy that carved a Nazi sign on his chest and then slit his own throat, which by all means was cool….but it still didn’t top the original.

I also got to watch the must see TV. Thursday night, it just wasn’t the same without Friends, but Joey was pretty good. Better than I thought it was going to be. I absolutely cannot wait for ER to start, just 2 more weeks!! (On a side note, Carter is most likely leaving the show after this season….8-( he is the only original doctor left on the show, and it will suck to see him go). In place of ER (for the next two weeks) was Medical Investigations, which I will admit was pretty good, its about people that have to figure out rare medical cases, for example the one last night had people turning blue and dying….come to find out there was some bad food products that a restaurant was serving, and all the people that sat at a certain table came down with it. I know it doesn’t sound that great, but it wasn’t too bad.

Not much else going on, I need to do the dishes, and vacuum my apartment….I want to wash my car but don’t want to spend money on it, and the fish bowl is really foggy (I feel sorry for the fish)….I wish I would have ordered my playboy shoes I wanted, but didn’t think I could afford it. My Qwest bill finally came and was for two months, and my back is peeling 8-(. On a lighter note, my birthday is Tuesday…23….not too exciting. I guess that’s it for now….

so i am not doing a 'movie' quote today, but this episode was on last night, and its one of the best, so yea....there ya have it.

You don’t know my name do you?
~Of course I know your name.
What is it?
~It ahh rhymes with a female body part…
What is it?
~Mulva?..........Gipple?..........Loliola?....................................Oh!! Ohhh!! DOLORES!!!!

¶ 17:29

So I went to Spirit Lake this weekend, man am I sunburned…o well. I am never going camping again though, every time I go there are horrible storms….ok so those of you that don’t know, I am scared to death of tornados, I was traumatized as a child, and now it’s a phobia of mine. So yea we went out on my grandpas’ boat Sunday, and it starts raining…rain I can deal with, but we get back to camp, and people are saying that a tornado touched down in Lake Park which I guess is like 8 miles away, and that the storms are heading our way. So we pack up some stuff, and try to get everything put away in the tents so that if something does come through its just suit cases flying around rather than clothes, and we head to Wal-Mart. As we are leaving, the DNR (the camp ground authorities or whatever you call them), come pulling in with their lights flashing telling everyone to get off the lake and to get out of there. (Yea, Dawna is panicking now). So we get to Wal-Mart and I’m feeling a little safer, when they come on the intercom and are like ‘Code black! Code black! Everyone needs to get to the center of the store! There are severe storms heading our way! Code black!’ (Yea, Dawna is panicking again) It didn’t help that the assistant manager (who was like 4 feet tall) was running around frantically telling people to… ‘call so-&-so and have them contact him ASAP, and get everyone in the middle, and keep people calm, and get to the office and secure this stuff, and blah, blah, blah.’ So yea there wasn’t a tornado, but I still am not going camping anymore, cuz this happens every time, and I’m not exaggerating, every single time. Its horse-shit.

So mom and I were sitting at the table when she informs me that she needs to fart…so I told her to fart then, and she said ‘no, I don’t want it to be loud and the people next to us to hear it.’ So a few minutes later we go to the bathroom….there are three stalls, I went in the first one and mom in the second one. Im in the stall doing my thing and I hear this loud, wet fart, so I go ‘Niiiice’ (at a slightly louder than ‘normal talk’ level) and started laughing. Then mom started laughing, and kicking her foot under the stall. So we get done and we walk out of the bathroom still laughing our asses off when mom says…

MOM: I can’t believe you said that!!
ME: (still laughing my ass off) Why not?
MOM: that lady was pry so embarrassed! She barely made it to the toilet…
ME: What?!? That wasn’t you?!?
MOM: (laughing even harder now) NO!! Didn’t you hear the lady come running in there and slamming the door shut twice cuz it didn’t shut the first time, then like a second later it was like (*gross farting noise). She pry barely made the toilet!
ME: OMG!! I thought it was you! You just told me you needed to fart! So I figured it was you!!
MOM: No!!!

We just both started laughing hysterically…so yea we ran back to camp so the lady didn’t see who it was that said it, and we laughed our asses off for the next hour or so… it was so funny!!

So yea, the rest of the weekend was ok, lots of frog catching, and playing cards, and sun of course. Well I guess that’s all for now.


So you’re from Africa right, then why are you white?
Oh my god Karen…you can’t just go around asking people why they’re white!

¶ 12:28